Pokémon: Magical Magikarp Edition!
by RobDaZombie
Summary: A collection of really silly stories, inspired from the wonderful gaming world of pokémon! For immature audiences only.
1. Surprise!

Chapter Title; Surprise!

It was a very busy day for one Lyra, Pokémon Trainer of New Bark Town, for everywhere she travelled, she was bombarded by numerous people wanting to challenge her. Naturally, her highly experienced pokémon made short work of the competition; Lyra had assembled the perfect fighting team to squander any threat that opposed her.

However, there were times where Lyra felt a little homesick, so today she decided to travel back home via her trusty Pidgeot. When she arrived back home, she had a brief chat with her beloved mother, before heading off upstairs into the bathroom. Lyra then closed the bathroom door, filled the bath up, hastily removed her clothes, and finally lowered herself into the inviting warm water.

"Aaah! This is heaven!" Lyra sighed, momentarily forgetting about pokémon, gym battles and rare candies.

After her lovely bath, Lyra stepped out and wrapped a fluffy white towel around her body.

Suddenly... she heard a rather loud knock on the bathroom door. Three knocks, to be precise.

"Mother? Is that you?" Lyra asked. She then mentally slapped herself. Duh, of course it was her mother! Lyra and her mother were the only two people that live in the house!

But there was no reply.

"Mother?" Lyra asked, sounding a little worried this time.

Still, there was no reply.

Lyra lowered her shoulders.

"Mother... I don't have time for games..."

Once again, no reply.

With increasing curiosity, Lyra pushed down the handle and slowly creaked the door open. She jumped in fright, nearly releasing the towel from her body. Standing right in front of her... was a middle-aged man wearing a white shirt, blue jeans and black shoes.

"Hello, just when you least expect it! I am Cameron the Photographer," the man introduced himself, in a somewhat flamboyant manner, "You look so photogenic! Why not have a picture taken?"

Lyra shrieked at the top of her voice.

"EEEEEEEEEK! MOOOOTHER! THERE'S A DIRTY OLD MAN IN OUR HOUSE!"

Lyra's mother immediately ran upstairs.

"LYRA? WHAT'S WR-" mother began to ask... but she then noticed the man, who was just about to take a picture of her towel-clad daughter. "WH-WHO ARE YOU? WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN OUR HOUSE?"

"Hello, just when you least expect it-"

"GO AWAY YOU MONSTER!" mother shouted, as she repeatedly attacked the man with a frying pan she conveniently carried with her at the time.

Cameron wasted no time in rushing down the stairs, and eventually out of the house. Thanks to the onslaught of Lyra's mother, he had two black eyes, and was covered head to toe in bruises. After mother had chased him outside, she slammed the main door shut and then started to call the police.

Cameron took one last look at the house and slowly rubbed the top of his sore head.

"Well aren't you a shy one?" he said, to nobody in particular.

_Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon of any of the characters._


	2. Oh Wondrous Evolution

Chapter Title; Oh Wondrous Evolution

Lyra was currently engaged in a one on one pokémon battle with Joey, a young boy who lived not too far away from New Bark Town. Joey summoned a Raticate to the field, whereas Lyra decided to bring out the green cocoon known as Metapod. For a short while, the battle was a stalemate; neither team held an advantage.

"Raticate! Use tackle attack!" ordered Joey to his pokémon.

"Metapod! Counter with harden!" Lyra instructed.

Metapod intensified its defence, causing the Raticate to bounce backwards from the impact. Whilst Raticate was seeing stars, Lyra shouted out a second command.

"Good! Now use string shot to tie it up!"

Metapod unleashed a salvo of strings to bind the oversized rat. However, Raticate was far from calling it quits; his extra sharp claws were more than enough to tear the silvery silk into pieces.

"Nice job Raticate!" cheered Joey as he punched a fist to the sky, "Now use skull bash!"

Lyra gritted her teeth and took a small step back. "Metapod! Harden now!"

Metapod increased its toughness again, but Raticate's skull bash proved to be too strong to handle. As a result, Metapod was flung backwards from the impact, and crashed gracelessly into a giant tree.

"Oh no! Metapod!" Lyra cried out.

"Raticate! Finish it off with hyper fang!" Joey concluded. He could almost taste the sweetness of victory.

Raticate charged with all the ferocity he could muster... but then the giant rat stopped abruptly in his tracks. An incredible white light consumed Metapod, a light which shone directly into Raticate's eyes, forcing him to shut them for the time being. Joey also shielded his vision with his right arm; confusion was the sole emotion going through his mind. Suddenly, a white orb rose from the tip of the green shell; Metapod's eyes faded away as its body slumped lifelessly into the grassy ground. Lyra and Joey were mesmerised... for the white orb took shape into the form of a beautiful butterfly. It was the final evolution of Caterpie; a Butterfree, a spellbinding, rosy pink Butterfree.

Endless tears streamed down Lyra's face, for she had never witnessed anything so magnificent in all her life. Lyra's pokémon evolved for the purpose of continuing the battle; Lyra's pokémon evolved... for her beloved master.

"Okay, so Metapod evolved into Butterfree! Big deal!" Joey remarked, his voice containing both bitterness and jealously, "Raticate! Jump and use hyper fang!"

"Not gonna happen!" Lyra told her opponent, "Butterfree! Psybeam now!"

Raticate leapt into the air... but swiftly crashed back to earth by Butterfree's psychic beam.

"No! Raticate!" Joey cried out.

"Now end this with sleep powder!" Lyra told her pokémon.

Poor Raticate was already feeling hurt and confused... and the sleep powder emitting from Butterfree's wings only made things more problematic for him. He struggled in desperation to stand... but in the end... the sleep powder proved too overpowering to bare. At last, Raticate surrendered to slumber.

Butterfree flew to her master, and Lyra praised her newly transformed pokémon with a tender loving hug.

"Butterfree..." Lyra said, after releasing the hug. She wiped away a few rogue tears from her eyes, "...you... you were incredible!"

Butterfree made a delightful chirping sound, acknowledging the praise of her master.

* * *

Lyra wasted no time in visiting the closest Pokémon Centre she could find. She used the computer and selected 'Bill's PC'.

"Yahoo! Caterpie has evolved into Metapod, and then it evolved into Butterfree! That brings my Pokédex total up to seventy five!" Lyra announced to herself.

Without a single shred of care, Lyra deposited Butterfree into Box Four, logged off, and continued her journey to collect more pokémon; more pokémon that were destined to be trapped in boxes for all eternity.


	3. Bug Catching Contest

Chapter Title; Bug Catching Contest

Today was a Thursday, one of the three days in which the Bug Catching Contest was held in the National Park. Lyra and her childhood friend, Ethan decided to take part in this exciting event. Determination shone into Lyra's eyes; all of the possible bug pokémon she might find would prove invaluable for her Pokédex, plus she wanted to find a strong companion to aid her in those future battles to come. As for Ethan, he just wanted a change of scenery, since he spent most of his time in his bedroom, watching his pet Marill running around in endless circles. As a matter of fact, the way Ethan and Lyra bumped into each other was entirely by sheer coincidence.

"Well Lyra, may the best person win!" said Ethan, who offered his outstretched hand to Lyra.

"Yeah!" Lyra agreed, and lightly shook his hand with her own.

After hearing the rules, the contest was well on the way. As well as Lyra and Ethan, four other people took part in the contest; two bug catching young lads, a picnicker girl and a female ace trainer. Lyra tightened her lips as she waded into the tall grass, ignoring all the Caterpies and other small bugs who were staring at her curiously.

Five minutes... ten minutes... fifteen minutes have elapsed, but still Lyra had no so luck... until now. Lyra managed to locate a lone Scyther, a proud bug pokémon who would rather fight to his last breath rather than run away. Scyther unsheathed its twin blades, poised to do battle. Lyra, a serious expression on her face, complied by summoning her trusty Pidgeot. The battle between Scyther and Pidgeot took place in the sky; the fight nothing short of spectacular. In the end, Pidgeot proved to be the stronger and faster opponent; her wicked wing attack brought Scyther down to the ground. Lyra did not hesitate in throwing her sport ball at the exhausted adversary. Scyther struggled to burst out of the ball, but it struggled in vain, and eventually acknowledged his defeat. Lyra had successfully captured the bug flyer, and she uppercut the sky in triumph.

The large bell chimed, indicating the bug contest was now over. Talk about just in the nick of time, Lyra thought to herself.

Once the contest was over, everybody who participated were told to stand in a line in a certain location of the National Park, distinctly away from all the thick grassy areas. Lyra stood to the far left, and Ethan stood next to Lyra. Both of them had confident expressions on their faces. Both of them were determined to win.

"Okay attention everyone!" announced the man with the purple hat and attire, "We will now judge the pokémon you've caught."

Lyra raised her hand.

"Hmm? What is it?" asked the man.

"Why did you say 'we'?" Lyra queried, "You're the only guy I can see."

The man with the purple hat and attire looked around; there were no other men with purple hats and attires except himself.

"Ahem, sorry, _I _will now judge the pokémon you've caught," he corrected.

The man surveyed all the freshly caught pokémon in front of him. They certainly looked very impressive, but there were three that especially caught his eye.

"Okay everyone! We, uh, I have chosen the winners! Are you ready for this?" the man spoke.

Everyone was quiet, eagerly awaiting the outcome.

"Placing third is the bug catcher Don who caught a writhing Beedrill. The prize for third place is a Sitrus Berry!"

Don walked over to the man and received his prized berry. There was a sound of mild applause from the other trainers.

"Placing second is Lyra who caught a wriggling Scyther. The prize for second place is an Everstone!"

"_Only second?" _thought Lyra, but nonetheless put on a brave smile as she walked up to take the stone. Lyra received a more stronger and heartfelt applause from all the other trainers.

"Now, get ready ladies and gentlemen," announced the man, "for the bug catching contest winner is..."

Lyra took in a quiet deep breath. If she was only placed second, then the overall winner must have caught an amazing super-powerful-rare pokémon. The suspense was killing her.

"...Ethan, who caught a whopping WEEDLE! Congratulations Ethan! You win the Sun Stone!"

Everyone, except Lyra, roared in cheer when Ethan walked over to the man to receive his prize. Ethan couldn't believe it! This was the first contest he had ever won in his entire life! He was practically overflowing with emotion!

"Yahoo! I won Lyra!" said an overjoyed Ethan, "I won! I won! I won!"

Lyra still maintained a 'WTF' look on her face, before replacing it with a nervous laugh.

"Ha! Ha! Yeah! Fancy that!" she replied, uneasily.

* * *

Lyra and Ethan returned to New Bark Town.

"Wow, I still can't believe I won!" Ethan said, beaming with pride.

"Neither can I!" replied Lyra, "I mean, wow! A Weedle! Who would have thought a Weedle would win the entire contest?"

"Yeah I know!" said Ethan.

Lyra continued the conversation. "I mean... like, wow! A Weedle! A little Weedle! A wee, little, ickle-wickle, slimy rubbishy Weedle!"

Ethan noticed that Lyra had a slightly... altered expression on her face. "Um... Lyra? Are you okay?"

"Me? Oh I'm fine! I'm princess peachy!" said Lyra, "I mean... I am _so _happy that my undeniably awesome Scyther LOST TO A COMMON-PIECE-OF-CRAP WEEDLE!"

"H-Hey woah, Lyra, calm down," said Ethan, worryingly.

"CALM DOWN?_!_" shouted Lyra, "HOW IN GOD'S GREEN EARTH CAN I CALM DOWN?_!_ SERIOUSLY! HOW HARD CAN IT BE TO CATCH A WEEDLE?_!_ YOU JUST THROW THE DAMN BALL AND WEE! JOB DONE! YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T REALISE THIS, BUT IT WAS SO BLOODY HARD TO CATCH MY AWESOME SCYTHER, NOT TO MENTION IT WAS VERY RARE TO FIND ONE IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"But the judge said I caught a _whopping _Weedle!" protested Ethan, "You only caught a _wriggling _Scyther!"

Lyra completely ignored him and proceeded with her rant. "OH YEAH! AND WHAT DO I GET FOR SECOND PRIZE? AN EVERSTONE..."

Ethan gulped. He knew this argument had just gone up another seventeen levels.

"AN EVERSTONE!" Lyra repeated, "OH YEAH, I JUST LOOOVE EVERSTONES! I MEAN THEY MUST BE REALLY USEFUL IF YOU HAPPEN TO BE TOO LAZY TO JUST MANUALLY CANCEL THE EVOLUTION YOURSELF! OH! HERE'S A BETTER IDEA! WHY DON'T I JUST CATCH A HAUNTER, GIVE IT AN EVERSTONE, AND THEN TRADE IT OFF! MAN! CAN YOU IMAGINE HOW PISSED OFF THE OTHER TRAINER WOULD BE?_!_"

"Um... I would imagine he would pretty miffed..." said Ethan, quietly.

"DAMN STRAIGHT!" bellowed Lyra, "HE _WOULD_ BE PRETTY MIFFED! JUST LIKE I AM RIGHT NOW!"

"Um... listen," Ethan said, trying to play the peacemaker, "look... if you like, you can have my Sun Stone if you want."

"HMPH!" hmphed Lyra, "YOU CAN TAKE YOUR SUN STONE AND STICK IT WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE!"

Lyra took a deep breath and started to relax. Maybe she was just a little hard on her childhood friend. After all, it was that stupid man with the purple hat and attire that declared Ethan and Weedle the winner. Maybe that man had some kind of Weedle fetish. It was the only possibility she could come up with.

"No... it's okay, I don't want your Sun Stone." Lyra clarified in a refrained manner, "All I want you to do is acknowledge that my bug pokémon is far superior than your bug pokémon."

"Okay... sure," said Ethan.

"No. Say it," said Lyra.

Ethan looked at Lyra. Lyra had her arms crossed. Ethan lowered his shoulders.

"Your bug pokémon is far superior than my bug pokémon," Ethan said to Lyra.

"I agree," said Lyra. She stomped her way towards her house, and slammed the door shut as she went inside.


End file.
